The middle of anything is messy. From building a business, to healing, and everything in between. It feels long, heavy, and treacherous, with no end in sight. When things get to this point, I have a hard time pushing through and not abandoning everything on the side of the road.
‘Fuck this, I change my mind.’
At least that’s the phrase I keep repeating to myself at that moment, as doubt creeps through the crevices and begs me to give in or give up.
I have a tendency to give up when things get hard. It’s something that’s always stayed with me. Hard things feel uncomfortable, therefore I would rather not deal with them at all if possible. But that’s not how life works. Life wants you to face your problems and work out the kinks, even when that seems unobtainable.
Easy feels nice. But only for a minute. Eventually, it gets monotonous and boring, and we’re ready for something else. This is why giving up in the middle of anything is pointless, because eventually, we will just wind up in the middle of the next thing with the same discomfort.
Over time I’ve learned that it’s best to feel all the feelings and just let them hang out with you.
Hug grief. Cry with pain. Love on disappointment. Whatever you need to do to give your emotions some space while trekking through.
Just Don’t Hide
When stuff gets messy we tend to spend more time alone, abandoning outside relationships and people that love us. It feels like work to reach out and constantly follow up and make room for their emotions while navigating something that is taking up a tremendous amount of your own personal energy. But it can feel good to step away and breathe in a new environment around familiar faces. Even as an introvert, I find that when I step away from the thing that’s zapping all my energy and get around people that feed my soul it tends to light me up again. BUT at first, it feels like work to make these plans and commit to an additional gig.
Get comfortable with small wins and baby steps on your way to the finish line. This will give you some positive motivation to keep going when your big goal involves a lot of moving parts. Take the time to break everything down into smaller chunks to help alleviate some of the stressors involved with looking at it as one big picture. This way, it‘ll feel like you’re actually accomplishing something along the way. People are rarely documenting their entire process from start to finish. We typically only see the finished product and not the hours and hours of commitment it took to get there. This can leave us feeling like we’re doing something wrong on our own journey vs the reality of everyone’s journey. Don’t let someone else’s end accomplishment be your messy middle comparison.
Why Did You Start In The First Place
In the beginning, you have tons of motivation and feel hyped about your idea or new venture, but over time that excitement wears down and you have to dig deep to keep one foot moving in front of the other. It’s helpful to take a step back and go down memory lane. This will get you back to the basics of why you started on this journey in the first place. Sometimes it gives you insight into how far you’ve come since you started as well. When we’re moving along, it’s difficult to see what’s been accomplished because you hang out with yourself, and these changes every day. The differences seem minimal and can easily be ignored or go unnoticed, making you feel like you’re not actually making any progress at all. When this happens, go back to the beginning. Find your way!
Above all else, know that feeling stuck and unsure throughout the process is totally normal. We all deal with these emotions while moving through uncomfortable things. It’s a shitty feeling but worth the struggle to be on the other side of it eventually. Hard things take time, effort, and big emotions.