For Now

Photo by corey oconnell on Unsplash

In my head I’m

romantic,

playin’ Leon Bridges on vinyl

while we twirl in the kitchen

with flowers on Thursday just because.

Dancing in the rain

with that Hollywood hold

to really linger in the moment.

But in real life I’m full

of chaos and edges so rough they

mostly cause pain.

It’ll take a lifetime to unlearn this.

I know you say you wish I could

see me through your eyes,

but I can’t —

that’s the thing.

So I hope you love the quiet

and sometimes reserved parts of me.

From my fiery passion to

the sadness that lingers in the corners.

I’m half here

but almost always there.

And I know that’s not ideal for us,

but it’s all I’ve got.

At least —

for now.